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How to Make Your Baby an Internet Celebrity by Rick Chillot with photography by Dustin Fenstermacher

How to Make Your Baby an Internet Celebrity: Guiding Your Child to Success and Fulfillment - Rick Chillot, Dustin Fenstermacher

If you or someone you know has had or will soon have a baby, this is the book for you.  But only if you or they enjoy snarky humor and satire.   Unless you are the type to take this book seriously, then by all means get a copy.  But hurry, you need to strike while the iron is hot – before your baby hits the 12 month mark and is no longer internet-cute.

 

Rick Chillot, with photographer Dustin Fenstermacher, and absolutely no pesky professional advisors, has produced a fun and quick “how-to.”  Starting with the introduction, you will learn just why that 12 month mark is so crucial.  Walking and talking in complete sentences = a washed-up has-been.

 

The first chapter explains some crucial pre-filming work including how to rate your baby’s cuteness and establish their “archetype” from 10 specific types, complete with parenting/filming tips.  This is where we also learn that triplets reside at the apex of cuteness, and how to detect and/or fake them.

 

Chapter two is the “how-to” of shooting the videos, where we learn that low quality might be preferable.  25 settings/scenarios for optimal on-camera cuteness are provided.

 

Going viral, aka maximizing exposure and cha-ching, is covered in the third chapter with a guide to the proper cringe to cute ratio and where to put your video in order to milk it for all its worth.

 

Chapter four is a bit less entertaining that the prior chapters, naturally, as it is about the drawbacks of internet baby fame and possible exit strategies. 

 

Not having a baby of my own, I can’t comment on the practicality of any of the advice.  So I’ll just say that, even for someone without children, this is a quick and fun read, especially out loud in your snarkiest voice. 

 

But wait, you might be thinking, why did you get this book when you don’t have any children?  Is there some news you need to share?  To quote p.82 of the text: Hahaha, no.   

 

My copy, which I won from Quirk Books in a booklikes.com giveaway, is most likely destined to be part of a shower gift to my niece, the one whose husband is obsessed with using social media.  She might not appreciate it, but he will.